Knowing a Narcissist

Do you know someone who believes they are superior to others, craves continual admiration and is hypersensitive to criticism? If so, you may know a narcissist.

The term narcissism has been commonly used to describe someone who is infatuated with oneself, deriving mostly from observations on Social Media platforms. However, not all narcissism is bad. It can be very adaptive to have self-love resulting from actual achievements.

However, narcissism becomes problematic when an individual requires excessive admiration from others. When narcissism becomes extreme and starts causing impairment, this may be a sign of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD).

NPD involves being in love with one’s inflated self-perception. Individuals with NPD require an excessive amount of admiration from others to bolster their self-esteem, and often come across as arrogant or overly confident. They often believe they are particularly special and unique, and because of this they only associate with other high-status people. However, beneath their confident front, individuals with NPD often experience deep insecurity and feelings of inadequacy.

 

Common Signs of Narcissism

• A lack of empathy and respect towards others
• A strong sense of entitlement
• Viewing others merely as objects to serve your own purposes
• A constant craving for admiration
• Resistance to behaviour change
• Experiencing feelings of insecurity and inadequacy
• Viewing self-criticism as personal attacks
• Experiencing fantasies about unlimited success

If you experience some of these you may be someone who experiences narcissism, or perhaps these behaviours remind you of someone you know? It is important to note, everyone experiences a bit of narcissism and most do not meet criteria for NPD.

 

Types of Narcissism

There are two main types of narcissism; grandiose narcissism and vulnerable narcissism. 

• Grandiose Narcissism: these individuals display utmost confidence, dominance, aggression and high-self-esteem. They typically overestimate their abilities and enjoy talking about themselves to others.
  
  
• Vulnerable Narcissism: Unlike grandiose, vulnerable narcissism is characterised by feelings of inadequacy, these individuals use their narcissism as a mask to hide their feelings of inferiority. Typically, they move between phases of feeling superior and confident to feeling inferior and incompetent.

 

How can Narcissism Affect your Relationships?

Narcissistic relationships occur when one or both people in a relationship have a narcissistic personality. Whether you are friends with a narcissist, in a romantic relationship with a narcissist, or you are a narcissist, this personality type can lead to considerable emotional distress in the relationship context.  

Specifically, because narcissists tend to be solely focused on themselves, they have great difficulty seeing their partner, or their friends, as anything but simply a means to fulfil their needs. This has clear implications for reciprocity as you may be constantly building them up but receiving nothing in return.

Initially, relationships may seem close to perfect, and narcissistic individuals can be seen as very charming and captivating. However, manipulation and controlling behaviours often set in after some time making it difficult for the other person to leave or end the relationship.

In terms of grandiose narcissism if these individuals feel they are being “cut short” in the relationship by not receiving the treatment they deserve; they may leave their partners or engage in infidelity. While vulnerable narcissists seem to engage in more jealous and paranoid behaviours such as accusing their partners of affairs. Additionally, they may project their feelings of inadequacy onto others.

 

A Modern Form of Narcissism

While it is unknown how many people experience narcissism due to people rarely seeking help for it and people experiencing it at different degrees, researchers have proposed narcissism is on the rise. In fact, some have gone so far as to label this rise “a modern epidemic”. This may be due to narcissism becoming more acceptable online. Social Media platforms such as Facebook and Instagram facilitate self-promoting behaviours and create a widely accessible outlet for narcissists to gain admiration through likes and followers. Studies have reinforced this rise in narcissism, as Facebook has been linked to narcissistic behaviour and low self-esteem. Specifically, grandiose narcissism has been shown to correlate with Facebook usage.  Additionally, the superficial relationships online are well-suited to narcissists’ limited capacity for empathy.

However, this rise in narcissism may not be solely attributable to Social Media. It has also been argued that the self-esteem movement has played a role as parents and teachers have more frequently instilled that their children are special in the hopes to boost their self-esteem. However, research has shown these empty compliments more often lead to feelings of entitlement and insecurity.

 

Overcoming Narcissism

It is important to note that a lot of people with high levels of narcissism will not seek help as this is in direct conflict with their beliefs. Often, they do not like to admit they have a problem. Additionally, some individuals may be totally unaware of their narcissistic tendencies. 

Nevertheless, working with a therapist to develop emotional intelligence can promote empathy. This will help to strengthen your relationships with others, which is so important as strong supportive relationships have been shown to predict greater life satisfaction.

It is tiring trying to maintain a superior self-image constantly, call us today on 02 9600 6619 to overcome your narcissism and live a more fulfilling life!